Black Swan
by Rayatta
Summary: Perfection.  This choice I make is one you will never understand.
1. Antiphon

**Note from the Author:**

Thank you for choosing to read my first (committed) multi-chapter Vampire Knight fanfic! I'll be sticking close to the manga for this chapter, only tweaking a few things to aid in later chapters, but the story will veer off in Chapter 2 and take it's own twist and curves. My goal is to satisfy my own need to see Yuuki make some personal development rather than be a "sitting duck" so to speak (like she always is, but nevertheless). We've seen in the manga how Kaname and Zero have coped with their own personal tragedies, and now I think that it would be interesting to see Yuuki mature as a character and sprout her own wings- pun intended.

~.Rayatta.~

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><p><strong>Antiphon<strong>

There was a burden heavy on her shoulders, the weight of which seemed as though it were threatening to drown her, asphyxiate her heart and leave nothing but crisp, black ashes. _It hurts, my whole chest feels like it's crumbling. _Her thoughts rang out in her skull, crying for an outlet. Her knees threatened to buckle as she continued walking. _This isn't my home, so why am I here? _She knew the answer, but she couldn't bring the probing tendrils within her conscience to accept it.

Quiet activity surrounded her. Vampires, fresh and new to dormitory lifestyle, buzzed in the hallways, making last minute adjustments to accommodate their preference for luxury, and a fly zipped from one wall to the next. She found the insect's sound to be irritating. _What an annoying sound at a time like this… _It wasn't at all friendly to her heavy thoughts, her already slightly agitated disposition. The nobles admitted here had been rather warm in accepting her, not at all coldly like she'd, at least partly, expected. They'd been friendly, even. For herself though, this was a common thought. Why should she expect anything different from herself? _This is the way my mind has always worked, soft and pliable, like clay. _

She'd been so caught in her self-speculation that she'd almost missed the entrance to her room. Taking the handle in her delicate, almost fragile, hand, she opened the door and paused. The room was empty. There was no one in here. Her only company at the moment was the lavish furniture and décor that had been ever so carefully placed to suit her status. The light curtains she'd politely requested allowed the moonlight to seep in and illuminate the dark mahogany four poster, its excessive quantity of pillows, and matching nightstand in a silvery glow. Her vanity, of identical color and quality as the rest of the furniture, stood on the wall beside her as she stepped tentatively over the threshold, as though the space was not for her. The chest of drawers and her desk lay on the adjacent wall, noble in their articulate craftsmanship, the door leading to her bathroom between them. Leaving the door slightly ajar, she took up a quiet solitude which created in her a sense of restlessness and vulnerability. Her heart sank.

She made her way to the bed and sank to her knees. Her shoulders felt weak. Her chest was aching. Her thoughts were spinning out of her control and emotion was welling up inside her, starting from the tips of her toes and fingers and slithering its way through her veins into her heart, its rhythm becoming broken, choked from this preternatural force. "It" wanted out, needed an escape, an outlet. It constricted tighter around her heart, permeated her lungs and threatened to overrun her mind and body. It searched her flesh, her veins, even her thoughts.

There resounded a thump as a flurry of feathers burst from the feather-filled spread. Her fists balled rock hard in the midst of the mess, Yuuki Kuran buried her face in the silky soft texture of the over-stuffed bed spread, raw energy and vehemence emanating from her delicate frame. Her long brunette locks spilled haphazardly about. _Someone, anyone, please stop time just for a small while! _She spoke to herself, "What are you doing, Kaname!" She curled inward slightly as she continued, desperation glazing her voice. "If it's true, then please stop the clock from moving." She dug her fingers into the spread, gripping it for _some_ sort of stability, _something _or_ someone_ to hold onto.

There was so much on her shoulders, a toppling weight, the sort of weight that made one feel as if they really were drowning. She couldn't believe Sara Shirabuki, could she? How could she possibly..? But the flash of Aidou's horror-stricken face as his father burst into light-scattering particles haunted her, tormented her. _Why? Why do we have to be separated like this, under THESE circumstances! _Once more she pleaded for time to stop, only to come to a quick and imperative realization.

_Time won't stop._

A deep-rooted longing thrust itself upon her and slashed at her with sharp talons. Fire. Fire in her throat. The thirst stabbed at her as she shot up, gasping, clutching her starved throat, eyes wide and wondering at the agony assaulting her. Her stomach convulsed in hunger, in thirst, as she failed to catch her breath. Panic was starting to overtake her. What should she do? There's no one here. No one. She was completely and impossibly alone here in this room that wasn't hers with its articulate furniture and silvery glow and quiet solitude and blood tablets on the nightstand… Her head shot to the left. Blood tablets. Blood tablets! She'd never had the opportunity, or _need_, rather, to be acquainted with them. Yet there they were, serenely placed where she left them on the nightstand in the room which she felt wasn't hers, beckoning silently to her burning throat. That's what she needed: blood tablets. The sweet relief washed over her, the panic quickly relinquishing.

_The fact that I'm a vampire won't cease either._

She rose to her feet and reached for the box. Its contents were small and round, a number engraved on each individual tablet. The turn of events and the nostalgia she felt was strange, but nonetheless, what she held in her hand would take the edge off. She popped open the container and emptied several of the small pills into her hand, pausing to eye them curiously despite her sweltering hunger. There certainly wasn't much remarkable about their appearance. They didn't look refreshing in the slightest, but now was not a time for which arguments could be seeded.

"What is it, Zero?" she said, interrupted by his presence in the hallway. _Probably patrolling. _

"It looks like Ichijou-sempai has something to say to you." There was coldness in the man's voice, but this was another one of the things Yuuki was becoming accustomed to, despite the quick shot of pain it wrought in her. His footsteps faded.

She brought the tablets to her lips. Her eyes looked dolefully towards the silver moon. It seemed to be watching her, a certain sadness in its distant radiance, and Yuuki abruptly had the sensation as if it understood her suffering, her anguish. Her eyebrows pressed towards each other as the taste dissolved on her taste buds. Chalk. Blood _flavored_ chalk. The taste was impotent and dreadful. Her throat, though, seemed to appreciate it, even if only a small bit. She felt alleviated, relieved. Her head was clearing and she believed she felt stronger at the knees.

"I'm stupid for not realizing that the door was open." She cursed herself softly. It was her weakness, her inability to pay attention to minute details which built the infrastructure of a secure realm which was causing her grief now. She couldn't possibly be equal to her fiancé, not now, not at this moment. She wasn't calculating, she hadn't the power nor the eloquence which he possessed and wielded upon whim, nor his experience and wisdom, nor the charisma to withhold leadership of an entire race in the palm of his hand. No. She was _weak _and_ gullible._ She was _vulnerable._ These things slammed into her harshly and suddenly, with no warning, and she felt her knees weaken again. _Weak. There has to be a way for me to escape my weakness and become stronger for both of them._ _There has to be something on this earth I can DO to make things better for everyone, something that can work. _

There was a hefty challenge at hand, and without the inner strength to pick herself up, how could she expect to support her loved ones? If she couldn't protect herself, then how could she keep secure those around her? These questions battered her mind relentlessly. They ruthlessly tore at her weakest points, shredded them completely. For her cunning adversaries-to-be, she was an easy target, a fledgling who hadn't yet learned to spread her wings and take such pressing matters into her own talons, one who had yet to grow feathers etched black and stained in crimson spilled from flesh. She had yet to become one of the black swans. The others had mastered the art of perfection, poisonous black and invidious perfection as crafted from the most hideous shades of polluted souls.

_If this is what I have to do, then I'll do it. Maybe then I can protect them myself instead of having them worry for me._

With that, an antiphon was born.

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><p>Note:<p>

Antiphon: Any response or answer

xoxoxoxoxo


	2. Fabrication

**Chapter 2: Fabrication**

A few scattered rays flitted their way across the bedroom and over her back. As the realization of the sun's daily ascent into the sky made its way into her brain, Yuuki lifted her head from her arms. _How long have I been like this? _Sleep had evaded her in the creation of her resolution, and had left her eyes droopy and her mind fatigued for want of slumber. The sun's earliest rays, those youngest to reach the surface of Earth, tickled the flesh of her hands. She bathed in its warmth, missed the days when she could wallow in that heat without weariness of the brightness it carried.

Yes, those thoughts she bore had kept her motionless aside this bed, had kept her head in her arms as her misery washed itself through her being. She'd failed to notice the white moon crawl beneath the tops of the trees to make room for her brighter counterpart, the sun. She supposed it had been a while since she'd looked up. Yuuki raised her head tiredly, suddenly wanting to see the painful gleams that were sure to be playing on mahogany furniture. As expected, the light created a burning sensation in her eyes, but she held onto the image of the glittering flecks dancing in the air as the light shone over them. She held onto it for but a moment before the discomfort took hold of her and she covering her eyes with her left hand.

She stood, and made her way to the curtains, being sure to avoid the harsh glow as best she could. Though the curtains were of a light cream in color, it would offer her at least _some _comfort. After closing the curtains, she turned her back to the windows and remained rooted to the spot. _Something_ was moving on the opposite wall. She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand very prominently in that moment. Instinctually, the flight reflex gripped her, and her palms felt sticky. She clenched her fists and swallowed, feeling her heartbeat begin to race. What was it? What was it doing in here with her? What did it want? These questions rattled her and tossed themselves about in her skull.

She swallowed again, feeling some sort of density emanating from this tiny thing crawling on the wall. She shook her head, took a breath, and made a step towards the thing. As her shoe collided with the flooring, her confidence began to build despite the fear which was making its best efforts to suppress her movement or stop her altogether. Another step, and another. Each pace she took brought her closer to the intruder. It was small and its incessant movement continued undeterred by her advancing upon it. As she came within arm's reach of it, she extended a limb to touch it, this thing which had caused her such alarm only a moment ago.

Flesh collided noiselessly with plaster. _But it was there. It was there just a moment ago! What happened?_

There was nothing there. _I'm over reacting to everything…_

Yuuki put aside the apparition and moved to the chest of drawers, crouched and slid open the bottom drawer in search of a nightgown. Her fingertips came across silken material and she grasped it, relishing its softness- light blue, knee-length, ruffled in the shoulders. Sighing, she entered the bathroom and captured a glimpse of her reflection. She hadn't taken the time in the last several days to take notice of her appearance. There was too much to do, and she did not feel the need to worry over personal detail. The image she received from her glance in the mirror was surprising. Her hair was a mess and she looked as if she hadn't slept in days. She didn't look quiet herself. No, she wasn't herself at all. A delicate hand reached toward the mirror, but she shook her head and drew it back, flustered and discontent, and turned the faucet in the tub.

The water was refreshing, if anything else. She soaked in the rose-scented bath until the water cooled substantially and gooseflesh appeared on her porcelain skin. When she rose, the dripping liquid seemed to strip away her worries and fears. She grabbed a towel and threw it around her waist. As soon as she saw her reflection again, those fears immediately crashed into her once more. Her eyes narrowed slightly before she put off the creature in the mirror to dry herself and pull the nightgown over her shoulders. The material hugged her frame comfortably as she strode back into the bedroom, leaving the damp towel lying in the floor.

She crawled beneath the sheets of the overly-lavish bed, pulled them high above her head to avoid the increasingly harsh rays of light that had arrived for the day, and attempted to the best of her ability to both find some answers in the darkness and in her slowing heart, those places where she was afraid to go. As much as sleep seemed impossible, she was dreary and tired, and she made her decision to at least attempt to catch up on sleep.

ஜ...ஜ

The emptiness in his chest was eating away at the Kuran head. The duration of his separation from his fiancée created a burning itch in the back of his throat. It seemed the longer the distance, the more agonizing the separation became. He fancied she felt the same way- longing, burning, and perhaps even fearful for him, for his well-being. After all, this _was_ his Yuuki, loving and accepting even after everything he had behind him. He rolled an elegant digit lovingly and longingly over the rose he'd given her what appeared so long ago, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly in the frustration he was doing his best to conceal. Several times already he'd considered disposing of his mission, his goals, his plots, to fling himself to his knees and beg her to forgive him for what he'd done, what she'd certainly believed he'd done. He wanted to bask once more in the warmth of her eyes and feel the smoothness of her fingertips as they slid adoringly over his cheekbone, to have their hands connected in the spaces between his digits. At the present time, however, he couldn't despair to such a degree. There were things to be done, tasks he himself was responsible for accomplishing in order to make his bird safe from further harm.

Placing the rose in his pocket, he turned from his place behind an enormous pine. The cobblestone pathway leading to the overrun house was battered and in some places, even cleaved away as the foliage slowly close in on the rock. The ground crunched as he made his way closer to the household. Pushing his longings out of his mind, he focused on the task at hand.

Kaname made his way up the few steps leading to the threshold and stood motionless, waiting in the utter silence for the door to be opened. His eyes narrowed. There was someone on the other side, a presence distinctly female. There was a click and a creek as the door slowly opened, just enough for a woman, obviously a maid, to glare at him both venomously and questioningly. He didn't recognize her slim face from anywhere, and looked down at her to catch her eyes with his own.

"Why have you come?" she asked raptly.

"Is your master home, by chance?" was his reply. "I'm here on business and wish to speak with him." His tone wasn't harsh, but it had a metallic authority to it which made her skin crawl. There wasn't a way she would be able to send this one off, no, not the slightest chance. That tone he'd used was final. He would enter the house regardless of whether or not she stood in his way.

"This way, please." She opened the door and stepped aside.

His shoe collided with the tile with an audible click that echoed throughout the room. The maid closed the door behind them and led him through a hallway to the sitting room. The couch, the curtains, the table-all of the décor was strictly of Victorian style and craft. The large windows were open, and before them stood a figure, hair long and made silvery by the pale moonlight illuminating the dark room. The maid gestured for Kaname to enter, and as he did so, the figure's soft voice spoke, still facing the open windows and gazing at the outside world. "To what do I owe the pleasure of visitation?"

The visitor's mouth moved upward into a slight smile. "Perhaps not for the reason you had originally thought. I come to you strictly on approachable terms."

The figure remained in place, a long, drawn out sigh extending over his form. "They're looking for you, the nobles. They're scrambling like flies in the heat, searching every possible corner for any clues as to your whereabouts. You've become quite a celebrity of late." Kaname remained unmoved. "Side effects tend to be troublesome at the very least. They, however, are the last of my current concerns. I believe you should know this well, Isaya." At this the figure turned, revealing his face, which was of slim build as was the rest of his body, eyelids drooped slightly as if he lacked sleep. He took a step toward a chair and motioned in Kaname's direction. "Please, sit."

The two took their places in chairs on each side of the resident's intricately carved table, facing each other as they reclined, the moonlight falling lazily over the left portion of Kaname's face, providing him with a substantially darker appearance. Isaya crossed his right leg over his left and clasped his hands in his lap. He inquired upon his guest, "So, what is it that brings you to my dwelling? It's quite rare that I receive a visitor." He dark haired pureblood took a moment of silence before answering. "What do you know about the events which have taken place in the last while?"

"I've been made aware that you currently hold the title "fugitive" for executing the head of the Aidou family, Nagamichi Aidou. I know that the vampire world is now in turmoil due to your absence, and that your fiancé has taken your stead temporarily until you return, _if_ you return, and that she's reconstructed the Cross Academy Night Class, gathering together a collection of noble vampires who seek to collaborate and perhaps reach the ultimate goal of peace." His eyes narrowed. "Yet here you are, the head of the Kurans, a fugitive, taking up space in a chair within the sitting room of my home."

Kaname's posture remained immotive, unmoved, and undeterred. There was a moment of tense silence between the two as they listened to the wind move the leaves on the trees outside. There was no doubt that a storm was well on its way. Isaya continued to scrutinize the man sitting opposite him for any signs of hostility. Perhaps the young leader had indeed come to dispatch him from this world, as he had originally thought. Unable to find any quirks in Kaname's demeanor, he simply waited for words. Those words he sought came casually and unthreateningly. "There have been some rather regrettable occurrences since I began this quest of mine. Unfortunately, I haven't quite had a moment to take such matters into my own hands."

"Surely you must know that there are those who wish to steal away your influence in society for their own use, no? You seem well defined in your logic. I see nothing 'raving mad' in your mannerisms. It would appear that you're here for idle conversation, but that's not it, is it, Kaname?" Isaya allowed the name to slip off his tongue astutely, hoping to bring the meaning of this conversation, this visit, to light. The young leader hesitated not this time in his reply. A wry and knowing smile turned the corners of his lips upwards marginally. "You are correct in assuming that I am completely here, _Isaya_. However, that you seek a antagonistic response from me is offensive. I'm merely here in the comfort of your home to ask a very important question of you." Isaya felt the moment tense as Kaname's eyes sparkled deviously in the moonlight which continued to illuminate his face. "Go on."

The smile on Kaname's lips remained as he spoke. "Shall I see you as an ally?"

Isaya smiled.

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><p>Author's note:<p>

I apologize for the lack of writing on this story. I'm taking my time and working at my own pace to keep things within it straight and to prevent from writing over things. Thank you!


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